Girl Talk: On Feminism

Have you noticed a spike in Feminism lately? It seems as though women everywhere are working together to build a beautiful, powerful voice. No one is burning bras, but a female power is definitely surging. 

It's inspiring to see women helping each other. Too often there is animosity in the estrogen world. As SNL's Nasim Pedrad playing Arianna Huffington so eloquently put it during Weekend Update, "Nobody hates women more than other women." It's tragic, but often true.

So when I see a growing female community effort, it excites me.

There's something, though, that often bothers me when it comes to "feminism." It's treated like it's a bad, or frivolous, or eccentric hobby. While delivered with a wry smile, a man saying, "Oh, you're suuuch a feminist!" offends me. It's clear that these comments are somewhat deflection tactics; men are, unfortunately, intimidated by independent, intellectual, empowered women.

Here's what I'm thinking:

The feminism we're seeing right now is not misandry, so men, please don't mistake our empowerment for man-shaming. I think the trend we're seeing right now is equality. My creative sister will often say, "I'm not a feminist, I am a supporter of equality, empowerment, and community," which I find so refreshing.

It's not about drawing a divisive line between men and women. It's about treating women as if there need not be a line in the first place.

If you want to know more about what's happening in the world of "feminism," please check out these sites:

DARLING Magazine
The Lean In movement
SoulPancake and Darling teamed up for a great series, That's What She Said

People-Pleasing

I read this amazingly relatable post on Darling Magazine the other day on being a "yes-woman" too much. So often, I feel the need to make others happy because it makes me feel good. But I didn't realize that it could also inhibit me from being my happiest. It feels good to please others; a sense of accomplishment, loyalty, even love accompany extending your help. Extending yourself too far, though, can get tiring and eventually less fulfilling.

This really hit home:

"It [can be] less about selflessness and more about an unhealthy need to make sure all of those around us are taken care of and satisfied. Underneath everything is a fear of rejection and a yearning for outside validation."

I see a lot of fellow women spreading themselves thing, overworking to prove that they are capable, valuable, needed. And we shouldn't have to feel like we are proving ourselves. Getting praise from others is great, but not the ultimate reward.

Being at peace with ourselves and what we have to offer to the world should be enough. To please others, it looks like we have to be pleased with ourself first. So, let's to it!

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