Love Letters: John + Abigail Adams

Last week we read the love letters of John Keats and Fanny Brawne, and they are unbearable dear. This week we look at one of the truest real relationships: John and Abigail Adams (portrayed beautifully in the HBO miniseries) have a correspondence that can only be described as common-sensical. Their love is obvious, not flowery, not extravagant. They speak of health, average daily routines. In some ways the opposite of Keats and Brawne, their relationship just works.

Abigail writes to John:

My wishes for your Health and happiness and my anxiety to hear from you are an old Story. Should I tender you my warmest affections, they are of a date, almost with my first knowledge of you, and near coeval with myexistance, yet not the less valuable I hope to a Heart that know now a change, but is unalterably the treasure of its ever affectionate...

They are practical; they are honest. It is a simple, pure relationship that seems to stand the test of time, Declarations and civil unrest, and many miles. Beautiful, is it not?

More of their letters can be enjoyed here.

Photo still of HBO miniseries via

Love Letters: Keats & Brawne

It's February and love certainly seems to be in the air. I'm conveniently reading Romantic poets in an English course, snow flakes are fair and frosty on lashes, and coffee shops are playing affectionate tunes. So, dear readers, I invite you to read some of the sweetest love letters ever penned. The lovely John Keats (one of my favorite poets) wrote the most heartbreakingly beautiful letters to his "sweet girl," "fair Star," Fanny Brawne. One of my favorite passages:

I am almost astonished that any absent one should have that luxurious power over my senses which I feel. Even when I am not thinking of you I receive your influence and a tender nature stealing upon me. All my thoughts, my unhappiest days and nights have I find not at all cured me of my love of Beauty, but made it so intense that I am miserable that you are not with me.

 More of the letters can be found here. Read them and your heart will glow, your eyes will sparkle. I am now inclined to read this poem and re-watch the delicate romance film based on John Keats and Fanny Brawne's romance, Bright Star. Swoon.

Photo still of Bright Star film via

On Being Friends with Your Ex:

It can be difficult, it can impossible, and sometimes it actually works. A large majority mentions that in break ups, the line, "let's stay friends, though" comes up a lot. But does this really stick, or is it an easier way to say goodbye?

You know, like when you graduate and you promise is to stay in touch, but you really know things will just kind of dissipate. It's easier to swallow, and it's kind of a lie. But it's easier.

Many agree that while you vow to be friends, you can never regress from the boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Yes, you can't take back smooches, forget you deepest secrets, or erase all the shared jokes, stories, and favorite movies. And this can be a problem for a lot of people. So here's my story thus far:

Now ages ago, after breaking up with my high school boyfriend, we agreed that being friends was a very viable option for us, because the consensus was that towards the end, we were in more of a "friendship zone", than a relationship zone. The romance had quite naturally (and undramatically) run its course, but we still got along swimmingly.

It seemed so harsh to say, "Well, I'll never speak to you again," because we liked each other as people. Why sever such a unique tie?

To this day we get along very well. In fact, on breaks and holidays, we still get together, we still communicate, and we still laugh at the same jokes and stories.

We share our new tastes in music, suggest movies to each other, and even visit each other's families (my mom still makes him the same dessert she always made him when we dated). The biggest difference is that we don't talk every day, we don't go on dates, we don't kiss. Honestly, so far we have successfully removed the romantic "relationship" parts, maintaining only the good friend stuff.

Have you stayed friends with your ex? Did it work out, or would you advise otherwise? I'd love to hear other stories. Do you think it changes drastically when you begin dating other people?

P.S. Things you say to your friends, and saying "no" to your best friend. 

A Change of Heart

I went home last week for my girlfriend Becca's wedding. We're practically sisters, and she's one of the most important, inspiring, beautiful, and intelligent young women I know. Her new husband(!) Vince is equally incredible. But after months of planning a several frantic mornings leading up to the big day, I felt disillusioned with weddings. I even told my mom, "Don't expect a white dress, a church, or an aisle. I'll be at city hall." I was definitely feeling tired and stressed...

And then we got to the rehearsal dinner. It was incredible with so much love and happiness. I was really feeling good. Saturday morning rolled around, and despite a few bumps along the way, I had the best weekend in a long time. Suddenly, I was overwhelmed by the support and gratitude, joy and excitement. I still haven't stopped talking about the wedding. 

I'm stubborn, but I've had a change of heart. People are actually right when they say there is something ineffably special about a wedding. So I guess you can maybe expect at least an aisle and church out of me...

What do you think? Did you used to think weddings were too grand? Would you have a small or large wedding? Are they obsolete in this day and age?

Photo via Max Wanger 

San Antonio

Valentines' Day may be over, but it's still a Wednesday in February, so let's have another, shall we? The first two were by men, and while completely lovely, there is something about a female poet that is just radiant. Women and men obviously experience very different emotions, especially when it comes to love. "San Antonio" by Naomi Shihab Nye is gorgeous and simple. It's very powerful, and I could automatically feel it.

San Antonio
by Naomi Shihab Nye

Tonight I lingered over you name,
the delicate assembly of vowels
a voice inside my head.
You were sleeping when I arrived.
I stood by your bed
and watched the streets rise gently.
I knew what slant of light
would make you turn over.
It was then I felt
the highways slide out of my hands.
I remembered the old men
in the west side cafe,
dealing dominoes like magical charms.
It was then I knew,
like a woman looking backward,
I could not leave you,
or find anyone I loved more.

Photo via

When You are Old

Last Wednesday I posted about "Bright Star," and seeing as it's the month of love, I thought I'd post another lovely poem. Now, love poems, I find are increasingly rare, and exceedingly difficult to write. Here's a heart warming poem. This seems like something a lot of people dream of. Old, sweet love.

When You are Old
by W. B. Yeats

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly red, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of star.

Photo via