Work Friends

Ultimate work friends.

When I come home over the summer and vacations I also return to my hometown job. I get to see all my work friends, and we chat away about how the last few months have been. But I rarely hang with these friends outside the workplace; we don't text while I'm away, nor do we make any efforts to truly stay in touch.

Recently, our managers organized a "team bowling night" to ignite the get-to-know-you vibe in all of us. We were told to not talk about work ––at all!

Example: I know who is good at what at work, I know everyone's name, I know the songs on our playlist they love and which they hate. But I don't know them exactly.

As of a few weeks ago I decided to buckle down and be "real friends" with some of my "work friends," which has been a delight! I get to ask them great stuff when I go into work, keeping our job light. Yeah, we deal with our tasks, but we also get to chat about life, family, upcoming plans. It's a blast to get to know your co-workers in a new light.

I'm curious? Do you hang with friends outside of work? If you were to sit down with them, would you immediately talk about work, or would you both talk about your personal lives? 

Moving Cards!

Yesterday we talked about friends moving, and how it is difficult to stay in touch. When my old friend David moved to Texas, I wanted to show him how much we would miss him, since he left when things were a little hectic and we didn't have a full out goodbye. Instead of buying a generic card (which are great if you need a quick card!), I decided to put my free time to some use and make a moving card. This way, when he got to his new apartment, there would be mail waiting for him. And who doesn't love getting mail?!

YOU WILL NEED:

1 pad water-color paper (8 X 12 in)

Set of watercolors

Package of greeting card envelopes (approx. 4 X 5 in)

Sharpie Fine Point permanent marker in black

Pencil

Extra strong eraser

Ruler

I traced a square that was 4 inches by 5 inches. Within the bottom left section, I free-handed a generously rough outline of a U.S. map. (By no means is this exact!) Using a black fine point Sharpie, I retraced lightly to ensure no bleed-through, and then erased over the entire square to get rid of any lurking pencil marks.

 I then watercolored Texas (the state to which David is moving) and also watercolored Wisconsin (the state he is leaving). David has always said he is going to live all over the place; he wants to see more. This way, as he travels, he can fill in every state. Kind of a color by number of where he has lived.

 The final product is pretty cute, with Hawaii and Alaska on the back. Now, I won't be doing this every week, but it's a great little gift that shows you care. Bonus, it's pretty low on time commitment, and you'll have plenty of leftover materials for future cards!

When Friends Move

One of my best friends recently moved all the way to Texas for an internship that has the potential of becoming a job. Of course, I'm incredibly proud of him, but I'm also a little saddened that he is so very far away. While we were at different colleges for several years, there was always that comfort of knowing every break we'd be in the same hometown; if we really wanted to get together, it was feasible. Now, flying down to Dallas just to talk about "Arrested Development" over hoagies is not the most practical plan.

So my question is this: When friends move, how do you stay friends? Does your relationship change dramatically? How does this logistically work? Do you call, Skype, send letters, text? I'd love your suggestions.

Obviously, we can't just meet up for tea anymore. I sent him a fun card for moving, but in all honesty, I will not be sending things by post every week. We also Skype occasionally, and are Facebook friends like everyone in the world, but I'm hoping to figure out this whole long distance friendship thing.

I'd appreciate your advice here. As friends graduate, is it natural to just drift apart? How do you continue those strong bonds from high school and college?

P.S. I found this photo on Pinterest, but can't seem to find the source. Anyone know it's origin?

On Being Friends with Your Ex:

It can be difficult, it can impossible, and sometimes it actually works. A large majority mentions that in break ups, the line, "let's stay friends, though" comes up a lot. But does this really stick, or is it an easier way to say goodbye?

You know, like when you graduate and you promise is to stay in touch, but you really know things will just kind of dissipate. It's easier to swallow, and it's kind of a lie. But it's easier.

Many agree that while you vow to be friends, you can never regress from the boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Yes, you can't take back smooches, forget you deepest secrets, or erase all the shared jokes, stories, and favorite movies. And this can be a problem for a lot of people. So here's my story thus far:

Now ages ago, after breaking up with my high school boyfriend, we agreed that being friends was a very viable option for us, because the consensus was that towards the end, we were in more of a "friendship zone", than a relationship zone. The romance had quite naturally (and undramatically) run its course, but we still got along swimmingly.

It seemed so harsh to say, "Well, I'll never speak to you again," because we liked each other as people. Why sever such a unique tie?

To this day we get along very well. In fact, on breaks and holidays, we still get together, we still communicate, and we still laugh at the same jokes and stories.

We share our new tastes in music, suggest movies to each other, and even visit each other's families (my mom still makes him the same dessert she always made him when we dated). The biggest difference is that we don't talk every day, we don't go on dates, we don't kiss. Honestly, so far we have successfully removed the romantic "relationship" parts, maintaining only the good friend stuff.

Have you stayed friends with your ex? Did it work out, or would you advise otherwise? I'd love to hear other stories. Do you think it changes drastically when you begin dating other people?

P.S. Things you say to your friends, and saying "no" to your best friend. 

"I'll Pass" and Other Phrases You Say to Friends

We've talked about saying "no" to your best friend before, but today I'm thinking about all those things you say to your friends that get you out of stuff without being in trouble. I have friends with different interests than me, and that's what keeps our friendship interesting. Being exactly the same would get pretty boring, don't you think?

However, this also means that I am often invited to things that aren't really my scene, whether it be a request to go clubbing or an invite to weekly Bible studies. These leave me stumped sometimes. How do I respond without offending my friend? How do I tell them I'm not interested without reducing their interests? Here are some key phrases that I find are typically used:


1. "I'll pass this time, but let me know the next time it happens." This gets you out on a time-to-time basis with no permanent solution.

2. "Thanks for inviting me, but I'm not sure I'd fit in. It's not really my scene." This acknowledges their kindness in thinking of you, and also lets them know that you're not really interested. However, it can kind of come off as cold. If their you're friends, though, they'll get it and move on.

3. "I'm busy––sorry!" Probably the worst way to respond ever. If you are busy, that's fine. But if you're not, you better find a way to be busy, or you're likely to be found out sooner or later. Do you really want to lie to your friend just so you don't have to listen to country music?

4. Almost as bad as number three is, "Maybe. I'll see if I can make it." This is incredibly vague and tells your friends that their consideration to ask you isn't appreciated and you're not extending the same courtesy to them.

5. "Seriously?" Exploding into the realm of friend-talk ever since Grey's Anatomy, you can use this over-used phrase (I secretly love it.) for sarcasm, anger, disbelief, and excitement. A catch-all, if you will. You avoid asking the first question, and in all likely-hood, it allows for a transition to a new subject.

6. Asking, "Is _________ going to be there?" puts the blame on someone else. You don't have to take the fall for not going. To be honest, it's a pretty cheap and cowardly one to pull, but can almost always garner some sympathy, as the invitee thinks you really want to go, but won't because of someone else. It's lame, don't use it.


Ultimately, it can be really difficult when your interests don't align with your friends. However, the next you're invited to a pole dancing class, Bible Study, or extreme political gathering, being honest might be your best bet. 

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this? I've encountered this recently with a friend who I don't get to see very often. How do I let her know I still want to see her, just not at this shindig? Any advice for salvaging friendships without going to stuff you don't like?

Image © Sarah Carlson Etc. 

A Change of Heart

I went home last week for my girlfriend Becca's wedding. We're practically sisters, and she's one of the most important, inspiring, beautiful, and intelligent young women I know. Her new husband(!) Vince is equally incredible. But after months of planning a several frantic mornings leading up to the big day, I felt disillusioned with weddings. I even told my mom, "Don't expect a white dress, a church, or an aisle. I'll be at city hall." I was definitely feeling tired and stressed...

And then we got to the rehearsal dinner. It was incredible with so much love and happiness. I was really feeling good. Saturday morning rolled around, and despite a few bumps along the way, I had the best weekend in a long time. Suddenly, I was overwhelmed by the support and gratitude, joy and excitement. I still haven't stopped talking about the wedding. 

I'm stubborn, but I've had a change of heart. People are actually right when they say there is something ineffably special about a wedding. So I guess you can maybe expect at least an aisle and church out of me...

What do you think? Did you used to think weddings were too grand? Would you have a small or large wedding? Are they obsolete in this day and age?

Photo via Max Wanger 

Saying No to Your Best Friend

Do you have a hard time saying no to your best friend? I do. I've even had a difficult time telling group members, acquaintances at work, or roommates no.

I'm really sensitive, so it just about breaks my heart knowing that if I say no to something my best friend wants to do, she might be sad or disappointed. Sure, I'm eager to please, but the biggest thing is I want them to be happy.

But the other day one of my best girl friends suggested some really grandiose plans for a weekend. And I had to say no. And my only reason was that I wasn't completely comfortable with all the plans. I was really hesitant (and even asked my mom to possibly intervene!), but I had nothing to worry about.

Because she's like my big sister, she understood. She was supportive, funny, and simply great. Like a good friend should be. Now? I'm not stuck doing something I'm not comfortable with and we're on the same page, which feel great.

But it can be really tough. It took me days (dare I say a few weeks) to figure out what I would tell her. In the end, no matter how much I hated it, I know it was the right thing do for both of us.

Do you have any good recommendations for saying no to your friends? Is there a certain method that works more than others? Would you be offended if your best friend said no?

Photo via

{Weekend Update}...Bridal Shower

This weekend I went home with Abby to throw my best friend Becca her bridal shower. My mom is amazing and had the house decorated in the most beautiful purples, tulle, candles and gems. Bonus: the food was amazing. Think almond cake and frosting with a raspberry filling. Right? We had tons of fun doing the traditional "dress the bride" toilet paper game, had engagement ring pops, and enjoyed lots of paper and bows from present time!

P.S. The weather was gorgeous; I really started craving spring.

Photos via @sarahcarlsonetc Instagram

{Friday Challenge}...Get Dressed Up

My good friends from my hometown will be visiting this weekend and I'm so excited to see them! We're getting up (kind of) early on Saturday to spend the day shopping around The Cities, and after we're having a fancy dinner together to celebrate! Most weekends, I hang out in cozy sweats and pajamas. However, since we're going out together for dinner and shopping, I'm getting dressed up! Perhaps I'll wear my favorite purple blazer...

Anyway, this weekend, find a reason to put something special on, whether it mean Saturday brunch, dancing at night, or Sunday church service. It makes everything feel more special. 

Photo via 

{Weekend Update}...Snowed In

I had a luxurious weekend. I was home with my family and friends and enjoyed some simple pleasures that I normally don't indulge in.

My girlfriends and I baked a chocolate cake with a peanut butter frosting and chocolate ganache. I died and went to heaven. Along with decadent cake, came a little gossipy girl talk, giggles, and a fashion show of our bridesmaids dresses! (They're gorgeous.) I went on everyday errands with my family, braving the cold and slush and survived to enjoy a Grammy viewing night, breakfast for dinner, and pajama time with my mom and Abby. It was lovely.

I also got an extended weekend thanks to the buckets of snow! I'm heading back today, as opposed to last night! Better safe than sorry, right?

Photo via @sarahcarlsonetc Instagram

Time Stands Still

When you're with old friends, does it sometimes feel like time hasn't passed?

I met up with some high school friends today for lunch and it was fabulous. How great is it to come home and see people who knew you during those awkward years? They know your back story, your quirks, your ups and downs, your passions, and nothing ever has to be explained, so you just talk and laugh. Abby and I only get to meet up with Erin and Nicole a couple times each year because we all go to different schools in different cities, with our lives taking us every which way. But when we do reconnect, it's perfect.

What feels like forty five minutes turns out to be two hours when you realize your soup is cold and your salad is room temperature limp. But it doesn't matter because some of the greatest girls, who will always care about what's going on in your life are gathered around a table in the loud cafe giggling like little girls. Old friends, no matter how much time has passed, are constants joys, don't you agree?

Back to Back

It's got to be a double take, right? First we have Christmas festivities and then one short week later we've got a blowout bash to wave goodbye to 2012! Luckily, our family splits up the crazy, so everyone can breath a little in between planning and partying. My mom, Abby and I have been putting our heads together...on Pinterest. With some bubbly, sparkles, smiles, and plenty of pictures, New Year's Eve should be a night to remember!

Home Again, Home Again

After a crazy semester and a week of finals (minus that surprise break!), it feels very nice to be home again. My own bed with flannel sheet, that homey smell you'll never be able to recreate in your apartment, the sound of neighbors shoveling in the morning. No matter how long or short it's been since going home, it's always, always good to be back. And I'm guessing things will stay this way for a very long time. Because that's just the way it is. 

I look forward to fresh coffee in the morning, the quiet residential streets, getting the mail from the slot instead of walking to another building, sitting in the big cushy chair (I'm doing that now), and snacking on cheese, clementines, and summer summersausage until our bellies are full in the evening. And my dear family, of course.

When you think of home, what come to mind?

P.S...I just finished wrapping Christmas gifts!

{Weekend Update}...Surprise!

Over the weekend, one of my best girl friends graduated from college, conveniently happening the same day as a final. So after many pouting sessions, Amanda accepted the fact that I wouldn't be there for her big day. But being sneaky, my family arranged to have Abby and me picked up directly after my exam so we could surprise her at our Christmas party / graduation celebration. Needless to say, the girl who is always talking was speechless. A good surprise, I think. 

Now I know it's true. It's the thought that counts. Saying multiple times, "the best graduation present would be for you to be here on Saturday," I actually agree. I didn't buy Amanda anything fancy, or commemorative of her graduation day. Our families simply surprised her with a loving gesture that probably meant more to all of us than anything we could buy. It's cheesy, but we created a really wonderful memory that will probably be retold for many years. 

This holiday season, what will you do for the special people in your life?

Photo via Flickr fireflythegreat

Traditions

Happiest of Fridays, everyone! My finals have begun, so our apartment has been a mess of snacks, coffee, computer cords, and frantic quizzing. I am so looking forward to the extended Christmas break, and family traditions that are coming my way! Do you have little rituals you do every year?

For example, my family has always opened the presents under the tree on Christmas Eve after dinner and church. Those present are from family. Christmas morning we sleep in (kind of) and check out our stockings (from Santa) while we lounge in pajamas and drink coffee with cookies. Ever since we were four, Abby and I have also gotten a small shared present from Gusty and Poofer (from this movie) that's hidden in the house.

Although mom make the traditional Christmas ham and smorgasbord, Dad makes his famous chili (how Midwest!) for Christmas Eve dinner.

Abby, my two "God-sisters" Amanda and Becca, and I wear the same dress in different colors for Christmas service. We've done it for a long time, but this is the first year Becca won't be with us, because she's visiting her finance's family, so the dresses are super important this time!

Family traditions can be so quirky and unique. What are some of yours? Do you have tried and true standbys like and advent wreath, decorating together, watching a holiday movie?

{Weekend Update}...Stranded

Hello, everybody! How was your weekend? We had our first official snow fall in The Cities, and it proved to be surprising. Although I had planned on staying at my friends' house for two nights, I'm stranded because of the roads! Welcome, Midwest Winter, right? But isn't it fun to have a surprise like that? I have a real reason to stay curled up all day in cozy clothes with my closets friends. I even got to out and shovel! It doesn't sound that fun, but it really can be a blast! I hope you had a rosy cheeked, frost nose weekend. And if not, I'm hoping it was gorgeous!

{The 2012 Christmas Gift Guide}...For Your Animal Loving, Practical Roommate

One of my roommates is the most practical, level headed person I've ever met. I've known McKenna since sixth grade, and she still surprises me. Drama plays no role in her life, and everything can be explained or perceived logically when it comes to her. Despite her cool, collected self, she melts about animals. Pre-vet, she definitely is in her element. Kittens and Corgis make her heart swoon, and her love of cooking and baking means the apartment always smells mouthwateringly delicious. 

Cooking Twine / Kitten Measuring Cups / The Smitten Kitchen / Baggu / Plaid Scarf / Fox Ring / Cord Keeper Drops / Universe This is London / Dachshund Bookends 

{Weekend Update}...A Tease

Do you ever feel like Thanksgiving break is kind of a tease? It's just long enough that you feel really decadent being away from school more than a weekend, but just short enough that you don't get to do everything you wanted (including backed up work). The weather is cold, but it's not yet winter. You think you're full and then the pie comes out. Although definitely to quick, my Thanksgiving break was wonderful. I so enjoyed spending time with my family, eating too much, sleeping in (a little), and working Black Friday (not sleeping), and unwinding.

I have a lot to be thankful for; I hope you realize that too. I'm trying to get mountains of work done before the end of semester. . . it can't come soon enough! Also, who got snow this weekend? We did and it was beautiful. Christmas season has begun!

Photo via

Master List

Throughout November, I talked about what I'm thankful for. . . I thought about how I'm lucky to live in the sometimes sleepy Midwest; I looked at early mornings as something refreshing and healthy. Today I'm listing my top thankful things:

1. Family. This is a pretty basic and popular one, but I can honestly say that without the guidance, support, creativity, and love from these guys, I would not be the person I am today. Mom, Dad, Abby, thank you.

2. Good friends. You know I talk about 'em a lot here. Similar to number one. . . but different, because you know that your relationship with your best girlfriends will always be something fantastically unique.

3. City / college life. I have been exposed to so many new things in a metropolitan area. I never realized the world could be so large, and yet quite small at the same time. I'm also extremely lucky to live in an area that is actually two cities. The Twin Cities has a great diversity of culture and atmosphere. St. Paul offers the more quite residential life, while Minneapolis provides a highly metropolitan experience.

4. Reader. Thank you, readers and followers for stopping by and providing great support and encouragement. I feel overwhelmingly blessed to have a platform over which I can communicate to such a large population everyday. It's quite humbling when you think about it. Thank you.

Now, go eat too much and enjoy a day with your family! Take a Tryptophan & wine nap in preparation for Black Friday!

Beautiful photo via